“My weekly ‘hour of power’”

The Eucharist is the source and summit of my life! Without the Eucharist, I am spiritually dead. No matter how the "smells and bells" are (or the lack thereof) at the sacred liturgy of the Mass, there is nothing greater than being in the Real Presence. 

When my application to join a monastic community was declined, and then two years later when I made an application for seminary for the Rapid City Diocese, I was completely devastated. It was like the bridegroom had not shown up to meet His bride at the wedding feast. That was how brokenhearted I was and yet no one seemed to care or to understand. I could not even look at the Eucharist at Mass anymore because I was so bitter toward my Lord. I was so close to walking away from Holy Mother Church, but then it was Our Blessed Mother who led me back to her Son through the "beads" and then spending time in adoration pondering what this all meant. 

It wasn't until several months later that I could actively engage myself fully in the Mass once again because of the emotional pain and scarring that was left in the wake of the disappointment of being denied the opportunity to pursue what I truly saw as a legitimate calling from above. Time slowly releases the tension and pain that exists, but the thought is still there: "Mary, how could your beloved Son do this to me?" Someday, I will know the full answer, but in order for me to know, I need to simply be present in his Real Presence at the holy sacrifice of the Mass. I do know this: God knows what is best for me and that sometimes we don't always know what His plan is for our lives. Hence, one must continue to stay "in his Body" as beloved children of God by remaining in Christ's Mystical Body, His Church, and surrender our will. It is not easy, but by receiving the Eucharist often, it becomes easier to surrender thy will, which ultimately leads us to sainthood. 

Mass is the essence of worshiping our God. It is the representation of Christ's passion and death on the cross at Calvary and I am there actively present when time and space are suspended at the moment of consecration. It is a foretaste of the heavenly reality of being in God's presence with the Church Triumphant, the Church Suffering, and the Church Militant...all united in our worship. It is through Holy Communion that I receive the true bread from Heaven that sanctifies me and makes me holy. Much like my prayer during the purification of the sacred vessels, I pray by asking the Lord to purify this sacred vessel (me) by saying in silence, "Lord Jesus, through this sacrament of your Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity, I ask that by the grace of this sacrament that you sanctify me, purify me, make me holy and spotless like your Blessed Mother Mary, her most chaste spouse St. Joseph, and all the heavenly angels and the communion of saints. Amen." 

Praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament is my weekly “hour of power." It literally is my "date time" that I get to spend resting in the Lord who re-energizes me for the following week ahead. It is literally like getting my batteries recharged to move forward with this earthly pilgrimage that we call life. It is by making myself available for that one hour a week that I get to spend quality time with my Lord and God. The exposition of the Blessed Sacrament has true power to transform oneself if we succumb to our own will. All we have to do is sit, be quiet, and be attentive to what Jesus has to say to us during this "hour of power.” It does not occur overnight and it may be one word that He imparts upon you, but through time, Christ reveals what he has in store for us...we just have to be attentive, listen to what He has to say, and turn our minds off to what we want or what is on our task list for the week. 

Adoration allows me to come to the Lord freely, surrender my will, and listen. That is all Christ asks of me. As my mother would often say to my father, "That one hour a week (at Mass) isn't good enough." If we truly want to develop a relationship with our Lord and Savior, we need to spend more than an hour a week in worship. Adoration is a good way to get to truly know the Logos — the Word — who created the heavens and the earth.