I was born and raised in the Detroit area. I went to Catholic schools from K-12 and then my husband and I met at Michigan State. We both had to do a professional graduate year—me for teaching, him for accounting—and so we got married and then we were like, ‘Let's move to Texas for this adventure.’

We had everything set in place. He knew what company was going to work for in Austin. We figured it all out, and then we found out we were pregnant, which was a big surprise because we'd only been married for six months and then we were not intending to become pregnant so quickly.

We moved to Austin, Texas, and I had a baby—she's going to be nine this summer—but she was two months old when we moved. I know nobody in Texas, and I just wanted to make friends. So I was like, ‘Okay, where, as a stay at home mom, who knows nobody, with a two month old baby, am I going to make friends?’ That was like, ‘Oh, yeah, the Catholic women!’

At this point I had one foot in and one foot out the door. I was not invested in the faith at this point in my life. But I was also kind of like, ‘Well, this is where I'm going to make friends.’

I found a church that had a school because I was like, ‘Oh, young families!’ We went to Mass, and discovered that they had an event coming up—a mini retreat for women. And the thing that was just so powerful for me was it said, ‘Nursing babies are welcome.’ So I was like, ‘Well, there was no excuse for me to not go.'
So I show up and I see these young women. They're in their late twenties, early thirties, and they are so beautiful—just so happy to be spending time with Jesus. I didn't even realize what the night was going to be. And we go into the chapel and it ends up being an evening of Eucharistic adoration with a testimony.

And I grew up Catholic. I went to Catholic school and I knew what the Eucharist was, but I didn't have this great sense of knowing that it’s really Jesus. I had this doubt, despite the fact that I was pretty immersed in Catholic theology and Catholic teachings about the Eucharist for 13 straight years, right?

I'm kneeling there and I'm holding my two month old baby and I'm looking around at these women and they're just glowing. They are obviously imbibing the Holy Spirit. And I'm looking up at the Eucharist and thinking ‘These women all believe this is real.’

I just wanted to have the faith that these beautiful women around me had. The way they were pouring out their love to him in the Eucharist, that was so inspiring for me. 

So I wanted to believe really badly that the Eucharist was Jesus. I really, really wanted to believe. So I found myself really turning to Mary. I was a new mom with a new baby, and I just really felt lonely. I found myself praying the Rosary; I found the local Catholic radio station, which was Relevant Radio down there, and they prayed the Rosary daily.

And eventually, I ended up praying a novena to Our Lady Undoer of Knots and my request was, ‘Please help me believe the Eucharist is real.’

At some point after I prayed that novena, I had this bizarre day where all of my chores around the house were done. I had finished laundry, the laundry was put away, dinner was in a crockpot, the baby was sleeping. I was like, ‘I'm going to take a nap.’ I laid down and it was the most peaceful sleep I've ever had.

I fall asleep and while I'm sleeping, I end up having this dream, but not quite a dream. I just see in the darkness there's a simple hewn stone altar. And on it is a monstrance. The monstrance is just gold—there's no gems or anything on it. I'm still looking for this monstrance in real life. I've never seen it.

And then over the monstrance and coming down in front of it, but not taking away from the fact that the Eucharist is in there, is this blue fabric. It was strange because it did not detract in any way from the fact that the monstrance was front center. I could see it, but I also knew there was this blue fabric in front of the monstrance.

And I woke up and I was like, ‘All right, that's it. Yup. Cool. Thank you.’ And later on, in talking with a priest about it and trying to unpack it, I started to learn things. I learned that Mary is the tabernacle and one of my favorite titles is Mary Mother of the Eucharist. That's what I was seeing, I think:I asked her to show me, and she showed me in a way that resonated with me.

I know dreams are kind of a funny thing, but that was what I needed.
I started going to adoration regularly. I had two miscarriages right after that time and not knowing what else to do, I just kept going back to adoration. And so it became the place that I go when I need comfort, even when nothing makes sense and even when I'm angry.

Today, I experience Mass with four kids, so most of the time I’m chasing a toddler, but sometimes God breaks through and he gives me that hug straight to the heart, like he’s saying, ‘I'm here and I love you and I'm grabbing you in my arms.’

I just love receiving the Eucharist. I just love receiving the Eucharist and I've had a lot of really powerful moments in adoration, where I feel that I hear the Lord speaking to me. And I've had a lot of really powerful experiences at Mass where I just feel like I’m praying a prayer that isn't even words.

I've just realized that if the Eucharist isn’t true, nothing else is true. But if the Eucharist is true, everything else is true. And so having that understanding means I will believe this and I will absolutely stand up and defend this if I need to.